What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
