Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
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