i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
