What a fucking waste of an outfit
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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