I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
