Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
