and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
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