things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
