got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
