i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
