i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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