I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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