the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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