3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
My pussy is not your playground.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
