If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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