at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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