Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Randomize
