Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
FUCK WHALES
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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