That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
