i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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