Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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