On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
