Banned from zoo.
Again?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
