Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
