How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
