I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
