He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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