in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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