I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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