My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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