Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
