I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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