Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
