i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Soap is not a condiment
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
