im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize
