I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
