I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize