I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
