we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
