i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
