anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize