I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
