I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
