turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
