That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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