This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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