She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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