let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
