Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
this beer tastes like vomit already
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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