So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
