I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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