i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
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