# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
