Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
