Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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