Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
