hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
