mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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