I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
