dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
After last night, I could never be a politician.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
