Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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