Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
