Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
