I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
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