He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Randomize
